If You Can Take It You Can Make It

Dane and I went to the movie on Saturday night because I was getting the 'inside headache'.  You know that feeling you get when you've been cooped up in the house for way too long and you are just itching to get out.  We call that feeling the 'inside headache' at our house.  I had the inside headache because I was stuck at home sick for 3 days.  I was anticipating feeling yucky the day after chemotherapy, but surprisingly I woke up Tuesday morning feeling fine.  I went to work just like a good little girl.  That afternoon I went to the cancer center to get a Neulasta injection.  Neulasta is a white blood cell booster the doctor prescribed to counteract the effects of chemotherapy.  It is a simple shot to the stomach.  The thing about cancer that I am quickly realizing is that every medication has negative side effects.  For example, chemotherapy is supposed to increase my chance of living cancer free, but the toxins they put in my body are trying to kill me.  They lower my white blood cell count, which lowers my immune system, which decreases my ability to fight off common sickness like the cold and flu.  So in order to keep me from getting a life threatening illness while undergoing chemotherapy treatment the nurse gave me a shot of Neulasta, but of course the Neulasta has its own sets of side effects.  The main side effects are achey bones and flu-like symptoms.  That's right you heard me...flu-like symptoms.  So in order for me to keep from getting the flu I get injected with medicine that makes me feel like I have the flu.  How messed up is that?  So I got the shot on Tuesday afternoon and by Wednesday afternoon I was starting to feel like I had the flu.  I stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday. I was still feeling yucky on Saturday, but my determination to cure the inside headache overrode my flu-like symptoms.  So, we got a babysitter and went to see the movie Unbroken.  I would highly recommend the movie.  It helped me to realize that my life is a piece of cake...breast cancer and all.  Spoiler Alert! (not really, cuz I'm not revealing anymore then the previews) The man in this movie endured an airplane crash, many days at sea, and time as a prisoner of war in a Japanese prison camp during World War II.  The motto that kept him going was, "If you can take it then you can make it."  I like that motto, and I think I will adopt it during this little trial of mine.  I just have to take it in order to make it.  I don't need to have the best attitude all of the time, and it is okay if I have hard days where I feel crummy.  As long as I don't give up then I will make it.  So cancer, bring it on.  I can take it.

It must be Monday. What a dumb day.

Over Christmas break my sister made me a playlist for my upcoming chemotherapy adventure.  One line from a Shania Twain song, on the playlist, sums my feelings up nicely. "It must be Monday. What a dumb day."  Mondays are the worst aren't they?  Especially when you have to go back to real life after a nice, long holiday break.  The anticipation of today was particularly daunting for me because I started my first round of chemotherapy today.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer-ductal carcinoma in situ, Stage 0 on Oct. 1, 2014 and underwent a bilateral mastectomy on Oct. 28th.  At that time the doctors discovered that my breast cancer was stage 1.  After a few more tests the oncologist recommended 4 rounds of chemotherapy to increase my odds of the cancer not coming back.  I decided to take his recommendation.  He said that I will lose my hair and gain a little weight from the steroids.  I joked that cancer was trying to turn me into a fat, bald man by taking my breasts, my hair, and to top it off I get to gain weight.  Yeah! Just what every woman wants to hear.  
Today was the start of the unknown chemotherapy adventure that I get to take.  I'm like an explorer charting new territory.  Not really, I am more like a scared bunny rabbit thrown into a snake pit.  The chemotherapy actually wasn't as bad as I was anticipating.  The nurse, Jenny, set me up with an IV (that was the worst part), then she dripped Benadryl, steroids, anti-nausea, and chemo drugs into my body for about 4 hours.  I read a little, got tired, ate a snack, took a nap, checked my email, asked Dane to get me Jimmy Johns and tampons (of course I start my period today...out of all the days of the month, my Aunt Flow came to visit today.  How convenient!), ate my turkey slim, and then it was time to go home.  Not too bad.  We will see how I am feeling tomorrow.